You are the type of person who is the poster child for the word "frugal," and you might even buy the poster if it cost less. Family and friends look to you as a pillar of strength, and rightly so. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time at a going out of business sale looking to buy either a large, stuffed kitty cat or a cross-cut paper shredder. Be on the lookout for letters from the Internal Revenue Service. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter Q, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 698645. Your preferred shopping venue is thrift stores. Your special symbol is the comma (,).

As a Brown Pragmatox, you are down-to-earth and practical. You are hard working and industrious. You are frugal to the point that you might even refrain from making a purchase that you really, really need. Doing so often causes problems down the road. You definitely go with function over form and substance over style.

Obtaining the most consumer satisfaction from available resources. In other words, resources are allocated in such a way that consumer satisfaction is at its highest possible level. This is also termed either efficiency or allocative efficiency.

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One of Shady Valley's featured factories is Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries. It's the world's leading producer of duct tape -- that shiny, seemingly omnipresent, cloth-like tape that's used for everything EXCEPT ventilation ducts. Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries also employs thousands of voting, taxpaying Shady Valley residents. The amount of campaign money, legal and otherwise, contributed by Mona Mallard herself to Shady Valley politicians is, well, incalculable. All of this means that our little pedestrian exploration through the backlot dumping ground of Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries main production plant puts us on very, VERY sensitive turf. The reason, of course, is that the duct tape plant has been discarding sticky, toxic, gooey junk onto the ground. This is a potentially hazardous situation, not only because this sticky, toxic, gooey junk appears to be leaking into the Shady Valley River, but because a Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries security guard is headed in our direction. Rather than confront this guard, I suggest we spend our time exploring the problems of pollution. RUN!
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-- Isaac Newton, mathematician, physicist

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