You are the type of person who doesn't place a particularly high value on frivolous things, like matching socks. Family and friends never, never, never ask you for a loan. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time at a crowded estate auction trying to buy either a decorative windchime with plastic or a flower arrangement for that special day for your mother. Be on the lookout for slightly overweight pizza delivery guys. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter D, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 301559. Your preferred shopping venue is thrift stores. Your special symbol is the comma (,).

As a Brown Pragmatox, you are down-to-earth and practical. You are hard working and industrious. You are frugal to the point that you might even refrain from making a purchase that you really, really need. Doing so often causes problems down the road. You definitely go with function over form and substance over style.

A principle of consumption behavior proposed by John Maynard Keynes stating that people have the propensity to spend a large fraction, but not all, of any additional income received. This psychological law is not so much a principle of psychology as an economic observation about consumption spending and is related to the notion of effective demand.

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I know word travels quickly among pedestrians of Shady Valley, but perhaps you haven't heard the latest. Pollyana Pumpernickel, the proprietor of Pollyana's Pet Palace, is no longer a pet proprietor. She's fallen on hard times, and fallen quite hard. Her husband of twelve years, Paul Pumpernickel has dumped her and their three young children to pursue insurance alternatives with Tricia Comer -- Smilin' Ted's sister and business partner in the All Comers Insurance Agency. Pollyana is distraught, to say the least. Paul Pumpernickel had been the dutiful househusband and caring father in his marriage partnership with Pollyana, but those duties fell onto the heavily burdened shoulders of Pollyana. The burden was too much. Pollyana's Pet Palace plundered into oblivion, leaving Pollyana penniless and jobless. Her only alternative was our government's public assistance program -- what you and I know as welfare. She's not pleased with her current social status, and neither, apparently is Winston Smythe Kennsington III, who ridicules poor Pollyana at every opportunity.
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-- John Glenn, astronaut, U.S. senator

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