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July 18, 2025 

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CAVEAT EMPTOR: A handy little latin term meaning to "let the buyer beware." It's a warning to buyers that sellers will try to extract a high price for low-quality stuff, and a heed that every hardworking consumer of the third estate should take. If you find you've been "taken", note that government has established consumer protection guidelines that businesses are legally compelled to follow. As such, you can seek action through the Federal Trade Commission, Consumer Product Safety Commission, your state attorney general, and in all likelihood your local police department.

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SHORTAGE

A condition in the market in which the quantity demanded is greater than the quantity supplied at the existing price. Because buyers are unable to buy as much of the good as they want, a shortage generally causes an increase in the market price, which then acts to restore equilibrium. A shortage, which also goes by the terms excess demand and sellers' market, is one of two basic states of disequilibrium for the market. The other is surplus.

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"A winner is someone who recognizes his God-given talents, works his tail off to develop them into skills, and uses those skills to accomplish his goals. "

-- Larry Bird, basketball player

Collecting WELFARE

I know word travels quickly among pedestrians of Shady Valley, but perhaps you haven't heard the latest. Pollyana Pumpernickel, the proprietor of Pollyana's Pet Palace, is no longer a pet proprietor. She's fallen on hard times, and fallen quite hard. Her husband of twelve years, Paul Pumpernickel has dumped her and their three young children to pursue insurance alternatives with Tricia Comer -- Smilin' Ted's sister and business partner in the All Comers Insurance Agency. Pollyana is distraught, to say the least. Paul Pumpernickel had been the dutiful househusband and caring father in his marriage partnership with Pollyana, but those duties fell onto the heavily burdened shoulders of Pollyana. The burden was too much. Pollyana's Pet Palace plundered into oblivion, leaving Pollyana penniless and jobless. Her only alternative was our government's public assistance program -- what you and I know as welfare. She's not pleased with her current social status, and neither, apparently is Winston Smythe Kennsington III, who ridicules poor Pollyana at every opportunity.
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Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time driving to a factory outlet wanting to buy either a coffee cup commemorating yesterday or a replacement remote control for your television. Be on the lookout for a thesaurus filled with typos.
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The first "Black Friday" on record, a friday marked by a major financial catastrophe, occurred on September 24, 1869 -- A FRIDAY -- when an attempted cornering of the gold market induced a financial crises and economy-wide depression.
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