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April 19, 2026 

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AAUP: The abbreviation for American Association of University Professors, which is an association of university and college faculty established in 1915 to protect academic freedom. The AAUP is the closest thing university faculty have to a labor union. While it does engage in some collective bargaining functions with specific universities, similar to traditional labor unions, its primary function is to ensure that faculty maintain intellectual or academic freedom from political of social pressures.

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What Do You Have Against DISCRIMINATION?

Hunger is, of course, an avoidable malady when ambling through the economy. At the present, I'm easily tempted by a hamburger, fries, and large cola -- a pedestrian meal if there ever was one. As luck would have it, we've found ourselves at the door of Big Ott's Boiled Burger Buffet. Luck, though, is not totally on our side. Big Ott's has a large sign prominently posted at the entry to his establishment. It screams in no uncertain terms: NO PEDESTRIANS ALLOWED. As a well-known, card-carrying pedestrian, I am, to say the least, taken aback. Why on earth would Big Ott's Boiled Burger Buffet refuse service to pedestrians? A quick quiz of an employee reveals that Big Ott once swerved off the sidewalk to avoid striking a pedestrian, causing extensive damage to his sleek, new OmniMotors XL GT 9000 convertible sport coupe. His anger has been since extended to all who travel by foot.
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PURPLE SMARPHIN
[What's This?]

Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time watching the shopping channel hoping to buy either a flower arrangement in a coffee cup for your father or a how-to book on meeting people. Be on the lookout for the last item on a shelf.
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This isn't me! What am I?

Francis Bacon (1561-1626), a champion of the scientific method, died when he caught a severe cold while attempting to preserve a chicken by filling it with snow.
"The road to success is always under construction. "

-- Lily Tomlin, Actress

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