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What Do You Have Against DISCRIMINATION?

Hunger is, of course, an avoidable malady when ambling through the economy. At the present, I'm easily tempted by a hamburger, fries, and large cola -- a pedestrian meal if there ever was one. As luck would have it, we've found ourselves at the door of Big Ott's Boiled Burger Buffet. Luck, though, is not totally on our side. Big Ott's has a large sign prominently posted at the entry to his establishment. It screams in no uncertain terms: NO PEDESTRIANS ALLOWED. As a well-known, card-carrying pedestrian, I am, to say the least, taken aback. Why on earth would Big Ott's Boiled Burger Buffet refuse service to pedestrians? A quick quiz of an employee reveals that Big Ott once swerved off the sidewalk to avoid striking a pedestrian, causing extensive damage to his sleek, new OmniMotors XL GT 9000 convertible sport coupe. His anger has been since extended to all who travel by foot.
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WHITE GULLIBON
[What's This?]

Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time browsing about a thrift store hoping to buy either a toaster oven that has convection cooking or a birthday gift for your mother. Be on the lookout for pencil sharpeners with an attitude.
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Two and a half gallons of oil are needed to produce one automobile tire.
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, „I used everything you gave me.¾"

-- Erma Bombeck, writer

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