You are the type of person who is slow and methodical, a strategy that accomplishes very little, but then again you ask for very little. Family and friends do not seek out your advice on fashion, politics, the economy, computer technology, or much of anything else. Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time calling an endless list of 800 numbers trying to buy either a solid oak entertainment center or a remote controlled ceiling fan. Be on the lookout for spoiled cheese hiding under your bed hatching conspiracies against humanity. You should consider shopping at stores or businesses beginning with the letter M, but do not buy any products with a serial number or product code containing the number 459191. Your preferred shopping venue is discount super centers. Your special symbol is the period (.).

As a Beige Mundortle, you are somewhat dull, somewhat boring, somewhat lusterless. You don't particularly care and you don't really care that you don't care. You know that you have a somewhat drab, lackluster life, and that's just fine with you. You shop when you need to, buy what you have to, and get on with your life. It's just another day, another expenditure. You don't really care to spend a lot of time shopping, but you don't really care to spend a lot of time doing much of anything. Life goes on. So what? Who cares?

The money function in which money is used as the common benchmark to designate the prices of goods exchanged throughout the economy. Unit of account, or measure of value, means money is functioning as the measuring unit for prices. In other words, prices of goods are stated in terms of the monetary unit. This is one of four basic functions of money. The other three are medium of exchange, store of value, and standard of deferred payment.

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Our pedestrian's jaunt through the economy is not, unfortunately, an unrestrained shopping spree for confectioneries, spark plug tools, and Houston, Texas. We have other important errands to run. At the moment we need to hike over to Shady Valley's exclusive provider of cable television services, the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television Company, Inc., to inquire about a mysterious fee that appeared last month's bill.

The good news is that the Merciless Monolithic Media Masters (the 4M people) Cable office is a mere 2 miles (3 kilometers for the metrically inclined) from the Shady Valley Central Town Sprawling Hills Shopping Mall. A hop, skip, and a moderately long jump later, our excursion through the economy takes us to the front door of the 4M Cable Television Company where I hope to discover why last month's cable bill included a $3,569 charge for something called "The Vacation Channel." I didn't even know I had a vacation channel. (But, I'm sure it's a great channel, and if I don't have it, then I will certainly subscribe. Please don't disconnect me.)

Of course, because this an afternoon workday, the doors of the 4M office are locked. I can almost make out, through the expensive stained glass windows, what appears to be several Merciless Monolithic Media Masters Cable Television employees, with champaign bottles in hand, dancing on expensive mahogany desks. Let's not disturb them. As they say in the cable business, an upset worker is a disconnected customer.
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