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January 17, 2020 

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Scraping Up The POLLUTION

One of Shady Valley's featured factories is Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries. It's the world's leading producer of duct tape -- that shiny, seemingly omnipresent, cloth-like tape that's used for everything EXCEPT ventilation ducts. Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries also employs thousands of voting, taxpaying Shady Valley residents. The amount of campaign money, legal and otherwise, contributed by Mona Mallard herself to Shady Valley politicians is, well, incalculable. All of this means that our little pedestrian exploration through the backlot dumping ground of Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries main production plant puts us on very, VERY sensitive turf. The reason, of course, is that the duct tape plant has been discarding sticky, toxic, gooey junk onto the ground. This is a potentially hazardous situation, not only because this sticky, toxic, gooey junk appears to be leaking into the Shady Valley River, but because a Mona Mallard's Duct Tape Industries security guard is headed in our direction. Rather than confront this guard, I suggest we spend our time exploring the problems of pollution. RUN!
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BEIGE MUNDORTLE
[What's This?]

Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time watching the shopping channel looking to buy either decorative picture frames or storage boxes for your income tax returns. Be on the lookout for cardboard boxes.
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The wealthy industrialist, Andrew Carnegie, was once removed from a London tram because he lacked the money needed for the fare.
"Being defeated is only a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent."

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