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DISTRIBUTED CORPORATE PROFITS: More commonly termed dividends, this is the portion of a corporation's after-tax accounting profit that's paid to shareholders or owners. Corporate managers usually try to pay the shareholders some minimum dividend that's comparable to returns from other financial markets--such as the interest on government securities or corporate bonds--to keep the owners from selling off the company's stock. That portion of after-tax accounting profit that's not paid out as dividends is typically invested in capital.

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A Tycoon Of The MUTUAL FUNDS

Winston Smythe Kennsington III -- our second-estate financial maestro -- has given me a hot, and I mean REALLY HOT, investment tip. Waldo Industries, the parent company of Waldo's TexMex Taco World, is making plans to expand its franchises. Marketing studies show that people are ripe and ready for Waldo's Super Deluxe TexMex Gargantuan Tacos beyond the confines of Shady Valley. For a minimal investment, I can grab a share of this money-making opportunity. A minimal investment to our Ivy-League friend Winnie is $500,000. Unfortunately my bank account, including recent deposits of loose change found on our pedestrian trek, is a few zeros short. Is this another sure-fire financial opportunity that will pass me by?
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BLUE PLACIDOLA
[What's This?]

Today, you are likely to spend a great deal of time searching the newspaper want ads hoping to buy either software that won't crash your computer or any book written by Stephan King. Be on the lookout for bottles of barbeque sauce that act TOO innocent.
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This isn't me! What am I?

Lombard Street is London's equivalent of New York's Wall Street.
"Always make a total effort, even when the odds are against you."

-- Arnold Palmer

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